I told myself that I would stop being ‘political’ so I stopped watching the news for a while. Then crazy me, I tuned into the Republican Debate the other night and ended up with my usual response of shaking my head and wondering about humanity at large.
The discussion of how to deal with ISIS – when does the violence end? Americans and their arrogance never cease to amaze me. We have been fighting this war for years and the more blood and gore that appears, seems to be an aphrodisiac to the perpetrators.
I remember when America stepped back from Iraq and verbally claimed a victory. In reality it was a Pyrrhic victory. Here we are in 2015, the violence raging on because Americans refuses to see the error of their ways. They have been caught up in this madness, for all of these years (despite their arrogant conclusion they had won in this feud).
I wrote this in 2008 or 2009 when the war had been consistently being fought and now the Republicans are still seeking violent revenge, at any cost – just as those terrorist believed. There is a toll to war and we are paying the bill in more ways than one, yet we still believe war is the answer – I just don’t get it can we please be for real!!!
Soul Death - The Toll of War
Murder, attempted murder, manslaughter, armed robbery, suicide (a crime against self), brawls, beatings, rapes, DUI’s, drug deals, domestic violence, stabbings, shooting, kidnappings, all crimes being committed by soldiers returning from the Iraqi war zone. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is what is being blamed for these behaviors. Why won’t anybody help?
Suicide bombers, road side bombs, ambushes, set-ups, not knowing who to trust, all play a part in the post war stress these soldiers are experiencing after living their lives in a state of heightened awareness, obsession, fear and suspicion for months at a time, in a foreign country where friend and foe have the same faces.
Violence, death, mutilation, brain matter, blood, guts, torture, pain, suffering, screams of agony – though I return whole on the outside, in the recesses of my mind the images dance in my head and I am forever haunted by the experience.
So it is with some of the soldiers of the 4th Infantry Division’s 4th Brigade Combat Team stationed at Fort Carson Colorado who are having trouble adjusting to life back in the United States. These experiences are not limited to the Colorado soldiers although they are having a large share of the manifestations of PTSD problems.
Attempting to be “strong” after the experiences they encountered fighting a violent war; being belittled or punished for attempting to seek help; ignored by their commanders; using drugs and alcohol to cope, to forget, if only for the moment.
Some of these soldiers that are being held for crimes they have committed since being back home in the United States are beginning to share their stories of the fear and the violence they experienced and in some cases perpetrated while in Iraq.
Murdering civilians, the deterioration of unit discipline, frustration, fatigue, impulsive actions based on fear all took place in Iraq – the goal being to return home alive and in one piece.
The Gazette of Colorado Springs interviewed soldiers and their families for months while reviewing medical records, court documents, and military records in an effort to gather as much information as possible to bring some understanding to the high incidents of crime being committed by returning soldiers.
From Iraq to Afghanistan – when will it end for these brave soldiers? After spending up to 15-months in Iraq, sometimes after being injured on a level that in previous conflicts would have been your ticket home but instead of being sent home they are being patched up and sent back into battle. Some have left Iraq only to be sent to Afghanistan at a later date.
Senseless murder brought about by rage, fear, training and lack of guidance in a war zone where everything goes and you did not get blamed for the “wrong” you did unless someone could be absolutely sure you did something wrong. You get “debriefed,” return back home and are expected to “forget” all that you have seen, all that you have done with an inherent knowledge that some of what you did was, indeed, wrong even in a war zone. Just what are we creating in these kids and when will it end?
For the first time in my life I am beginning to hate. I hate, I hate, I hate war, I hate the misguided reasons people fight wars, I hate greed, on some levels I hate those who sit behind their desk while sending kids to fight wars they themselves jump into while attempting to teach their children that fighting is not the answer on a day to day basis – how hypocritical and insincere.
I hate those who believe that “debriefing” simply erases the ugliness of war; I hate those who use praise to encourage mass murder for their cause, any cause. I’m sorry these wars are taking a toll on me.
God gave me the ability to experience, through empathy the fear, the ugliness, the sadness of watching the life force drain from the body of a friend who has had my back, maybe died in my place and it is beginning to turn my stomach as I experience, in my minds eye, what our children are experiencing up close and personal for months on end.
While my hate is tempered by the knowledge that I have not really experienced the visions that play in my head, I can only imagine what it is like for those who have really experienced the things I have described and I am saddened with the thoughts that even though these soldiers made it back in one visible piece, irretrievable parts of them are forever left on the battlefields of Iraq and Afghanistan..
As I pray nightly for the madness to end, I pray, also, no longer to experience this hate inside me and for the world even though I know that man’s free-will is taking him to the depth of darkness to which there seems to be no return.
Something to think about as you attempt to send more children off to a war it seems we cannot win Mr. Republican – I have to wonder if you are behind these horrendous acts just to keep the violence alive, is that a lie or a fact???
Written by: Connie Jordan
2008
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